I am not good at picking up guys. In New York, we walk out of our doors and immediately put on our "fuck-you face", and I feel like this city has made me a "No-eye-contact monster" when it comes to interactions with cute strangers. I had a really good friend in town recently who not only has no eye-contact issues, she is a very good wing woman. Emily was here for 5 days, and because of her I got three phone number exchanges out of it. Nothing came from any of them. Well, except for this blog. You can thank Emily.
Emily took my Sex and the City tour one day while she was in town. One of the stops on the tour is the Bleecker Playground/park so tourists can go to Magnolia, Jimmy Choo, and see if Suri Cruise is in the park wearing heels and acting like an asshole, etc. When we got to this stop, I looked over and they had put a piano in the middle of Bleecker park and had an adorable piano player singing his happy little butt off. Piano man kept staring at me. I had to walk past him a few times because I was leading the tour, and he just kept looking at me and smiling. So Emily made me put my number in a dollar bill and put it in his tip bucket. When I walked over to give him the dollar, he stopped singing and said, "Your number better be in there". Game on!
He texted me the next day with a very standard, "Hi this is Jimmy from the park. You seem interesting and I'd like to take you out sometime..." No banter or anything funny or cute to work with, but hey, some people aren't great on text, right? Right. Not a deal breaker. The next time I had a free night was almost a week later so we scheduled a date the next week. He picked the place. Halleluah!
I did not hear a word from him all week. Nothing. No texts, no banter, honestly nothing to look forward to. Side note: GUYS! You need to CALL a girl if you are going on a first date and you don't know each other ... it sets a really great foundation and gives us something to look forward to. SO, I hear nothing from him. Nothing. Thursday comes, date day, and it's a gloomy day and looks like it's about to pour any minute. Not ideal date weather, but whatever, it could be romantic. I'm thinking positively! I don't hear from him all day. I get off of work. Still no contact. I go home and two hours before our date is supposed to happen, I finally text him asking if we are still on... here are our texts:
So then I sent him a link for Blame it on the Rain, Milli Vanilli.
Listen, if he called me and said he was having a shitty day, and wanted to reschedule for next week, It would have been fine. I was exhausted from working all day anyway. It was the fact that I had to ask him two hours before if we were still on because I never heard a word from him, then we weren't on, then we were on, then I took a shower and got ready, then he said we weren't on, then I went out and got drunk with my friends and it rained for 5 minutes. It was just rude. COURT A LADY, right? I didn't like, "Have a good night." Like it was over. End of story. Bye.
The next day, after he watched Blame it on the Rain, I get another text from him.
I never let him know because by then I was over it. Then a week later:
And there it is. Next!